Friday, January 28th, 2006
Dave Barry Again
To Sleep 12:40 AM Awoke 6:57 AM

Boy I was tired. Something is wrong with the Sun (AKA 'Sol'). When I awoke, it was still dark. I was not quite sure if it was AM or PM. Even after checking with my computer, It took me a while to decide. Penguihs hate mice. Thank god there are not many of them at The South Pole. I have a real sticky mouse. I guess it is time to get some mouse cleaner and give it a bath

I am still tired and went back to sleep for an hour. By the time I woke up I noticed that 100's of people have been coming to my blog. Thank you Dave Barry, HE FINALLY PUT ME IN HIS BLOG!!!!! Dave's Blog:

January 28, 2006

UPDATE

I am definitely in California. I know this because my booksigning last night was attended by a man wearing a penguin costume and playing a blue ukelele.

I assume it goes without saying that he has a blog.

Posted by Dave on January 28, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (37

The response has been incredible. Penguin Man has once again been undone, this time from a John Drost who wrote the song Penguin Lust Sung to the tune of Tainted Love. I am going to have to learn to play it on the ukulele.

penguin lust - thanks for the earwig

("Tainted Love")

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Swim away
I'd rather
Fish all day.
Though these feelings are a part of me!
In the mating game
We all look the same
It just don't feel right
I toss and turn through 6 months of night!

Once I ran from seals
Regurgitate my meals
This penguin lust I'm livin'
I gave you all a mate could give you
Guard your egg and that's not nearly all
Penguin lust, Penguin lust

When there's snow and wind that
Never ends.
I'm huddled with a
Thousand friends
Wonderin' when you'll waddle back!
On film they stare
Think we make a pair
Though it don't seem right
Among penguins I'm just not that bright!

(chorus)

Well I have decided. I am going to Berkeley to see Dave Barry again. I don't know how I am going to get there. I guess I could swim. So Dave be forewarned. Maybe I can sing songs while he is actually signing books. Singing while signing.

The chords to Tainted Love by Soft Cell Copyrighted, registered trademark, patent pending, etc...

/ Em G C G A / :

I think Penguin Man can learn that. But wait there is a bridge:
/ E G Am A /
I don't know if Penguin Man can remember that much.

I just talked to my lawyer. If I even think of recording the above song, after I pay royalties to Soft Cell and now John Drost I will have put myself in debt more than I will ever make in 10 lifetimes. Penguins don't make much money, except when they star in movies, like me.

What this country really needs is a Department Of Humor (AKA DOH, not to be confused with The Department Of Housing). Headed by Dave Barry. When diplomats meet, we could tell jokes about falafals and they would tell us jokes about farting in public, after eating a falafal.. All of this while being serenaded by a Penguin. Believe me I have tried. When Arafat met Clinton at Camp David, years ago, I tried to arrange for my friends group to come and sing songs about Peace. The White House took me seriously, which I was totally serious, and gave me phone numbers at Camp David. Finally I was transfered to security and they knew who I was and said that there was no way it could happen, mostly because of security clearances. Even White House staffers could not get cleared. I could hear in the background all kinds of chatter from security. It was amazing.

Dave Barry is amazing. There are not that many humorist in this world now a days. There are guys who write the comics you see in the paper, some of the best have retired. Then we have stand up comedians, but you have to go to see them. They are not like Penguin Man, standing on the corner making people happy. The ones that do make it, Robin Williams, Dana Carvy, etc.. pretty much go into seclusion. I do give them both credit for performing at Mark Pitta's Comedy Showcase at 142 Throckmorton Theater (Dana played there unannounced days ago). Why won't Mark Pitta let Penguin Man perform? (maybe because he sucks?). At least he should go to his WEB site.

John Drost informed me he doesn't want royalties for his above song Penguin Love. He said to donate it to charity, so I will donate his royalties to The Penguin Foundation. You can adopt a Penguin there. Adopt me please.

It is raining real hard and I don't have a ride or money for bus to Berkeley. I guess if I was a real Penguin and not just half Penguin I'd swim. It is about a 10 mile swim. Penguins can swim at.30 miles an hour. I will enter that data into my computer and see how long it would take to swim from Mill Valley to Berkeley. It says 20 days. Doesn't look good. Anybody going from Mill Valley to Berkeley now?

I was supposed to meet Diana Anderson at Sweetwater Saloon down the street. Dan Hick's, my hero was playing. His group is so good. Paul Robinson on guitar. Jazz standards. He invited me on stage to play my song, The Marin County Blues I was not really expecting him to ask me, but I did have my ukulele. I don't know how to be a band leader and there is a certain protocol you have to follow where everybody gets to take a lead. The bass player was about to take a lead and I started singing. I didn't want the song to go on forever. He was kinda pissed. Oh well. I wish I could of recorded it. They sounded so great.

It is 6:30 and it doesn't look like I am going to make it to Berkeley to see Dave Barry today. It is raining too hard. I think we will have flooding again very soon, when it is high tide.

It didn't flood. We had 1/2 inch of rain in an hour, but then it let up. SFGate.com weather page now has a rain gage in Mill Valley that appears to finally be working. They have about 30 cities in the Bay Area, but only 1 in Marin County.

I have not been feeling that well today. Just exhausted and weak. About all I can do is rest.

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